What To Say And Not Say In A Condolence Letter

Simple, direct language works better than elaborate phrasing in a condolence letter. "I'm so sorry for your loss" said plainly means more than a paragraph reaching for the right words.

Avoid explanations for the loss — "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place" can land as dismissive, even when well-intentioned. You don't need to make sense of it for them.

It's fine not to know what to say. Acknowledging that directly ("I don't have the right words, but I'm thinking of you") is often more honest and more comforting than forcing eloquence you don't feel.

If you knew the person who passed, one specific, warm memory is worth more than general praise. It shows the relationship was real to you too, not just a formality.

Offering help works better as something specific than as an open-ended gesture. "I'll bring dinner Thursday" is easier to accept than "let me know if you need anything," which puts the burden of asking back on someone who's already overwhelmed.